Fantastic Friday

Friday's are fantastic days! You are anticipating the weekend and hopefully satisfied with the past week. It is a day of reflection on what might need adjusting for the next week in your life. Let's just say I have lots of adjusting for next week...

My husband is home for a few days. We have much to discuss and made a small start yesterday. Sometimes I have this sparkle of hope everything will be okay, and others I am convinced they never will. I want them to be okay. I want Russ to be okay. Send positive thoughts my way for a positive discussion from our hearts.
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Today's Affirmations:

I will be positive
I will be calm
I will respect myself and others
I will honor who I am
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The variables in life are uncountable.
Our plans for the future are never fixed in stone.
We must be constantly flexible,
ready to adjust at a moments notice.
While we are diligent in pursuing our goals,
Our goals may hit obstacles.
Negativity may seep in unnoticed.
We must keep on guard of this
and maintain our positive attitudes.
It is not failure to adjust our goals.
It is failure to give up.
Keep walking, step by step
pursuing your journey.
Flow with the bends in the road
and adjust your path as needed.
Hold your head high
and be proud of yourself.
You are Fabulous in every way!
Live life fully, enjoy your journey,
and smile from your heart.

24 Steps to add to your Journey...

I stole this from Laura's Losin' It~

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________.’

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You’ll be smiling before you know it.

Scared Witless

This weekend my daughter was involved in a car accident, where a woman hit her from the side. Victoria, my daughter, was in her Jeep and the force of the hit rolled it twice before sliding around and landing upright. This all happened in a parking lot!!! How fast could the lady have been traveling to knock the Jeep over in a parking lot?? Vic hit her head on the window and knocked her shoulder against something as the Jeep tumbled. She has little cuts from the glass shattering and hitting her. She was pretty bruised and hurting. When I was called I was scared out of my mind. I didn't know how badly she had been hurt and only knew they had taken her to the hospital and were doing x-rays. They were concerned she had a concussion, but I think she avoided that. She banged her head hard and has a huge lump. Her x-rays were okay, but her neck is hurting her now. They gave her pain meds. If she hadn't been wearing her seatbelt, she probably would have died or been hurt severely. It is very scary.

I'm so thankful there were nice people there that came to her aid and helped her. Thank you to the man who managed to get her door open and get her out of the car. Thank you to the lovely woman who sat with her and comforted her. She even offered to go in the ambulance with my daughter so she wouldn't be alone. It is so wonderful to see random acts of kindness being extended to my daughter.

Here I was so upset and worried and thankful my daughter was okay and then what does my husband, her step father say... It was probably her fault and they should take the pain meds away so she will remember the lesson. I was shocked! How cold must a person be to insinuate a 17 year old should learn a lesson through pain??!! It doesn't matter whose fault it was and I actually don't think it was my daughters fault, you don't teach a lesson by taking pain medication away!!!!!! My husband and I have had some problems in our marriage. But this...how do I handle this? Can a person make comments as cold as this and I still have the hope he will make the changes necessary for our marriage to survive?

This quote was the thought of the day on my company email: "It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others. If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearts and minds to others”. --Author Unknown

I thought it was rather timely considering what my husband said. Perhaps he has no love for himself so he can't show compassion to others, even his step-daughter. Regardless, I am left feeling rather cold inside knowing I have a lot of thinking to do about my marriage. There have been on going problems for some time now that I have been desperately trying to solve with no help from my husband. I'm still feeling the effects of the fear regarding my daughter as well. I am determined to get control of my emotions and not let them control me. My daughter is okay and that is the bottom line. I still have my baby girl.

Freaky Friday

What a Wacky Week it has been!!

This week has been a challenge! Either my allergies are messed up or I have some kind of cold or viral infection. I have been sneezing my head off and wishing I could cut my head off. heh! It has been difficult to remain focused the last couple of weeks. I think when I feel better the focus will return.

I will be drumming again at the Actor's Cafe Saturday night. I might get to dance too, but as the dance routine was designed for groups of 3 dancers, it may not work out. There are 4 of us wanting to dance. Most likely since I am drumming, I will step aside and let the other 3 perform. That way, we all get to participate. I am posting some pictures from last month's event.

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Today's Affirmations:

~I will heal myself and feel better
~I will have a Wonderful Weekend
~I will allow myself to be happy
~I will eat healthy
~I will take care of myself
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My goals for my Fabulous in Fall challenge on SparkPeople team Inner Journey were very simple. I wanted to lose 5 pounds and live a healthy lifestyle. To that end, I planned on more cardio and strength training and a few other little steps along the way. I believe you cannot be healthy if you are not taking care of all of you...mind, body and soul.

Here we are near the end of October and I have gained 4 pounds!! Not what I had planned at all. This re-evaluation of my goals mid way through is an excellent time to correct where I have strayed off course.

MIND: I have done well in this area except for in the workplace. I have allowed certain emotions to prevail instead of recognizing them for what they are. I do now and will make these corrections:

Mind Goals
I will not allow my work to stress me out.
I will speak with my boss regarding concerns within the company as they come up.
I will include work issues in my journaling.
I will continue to express myself through painting and dance and drums.


BODY: This is the area I need the most work on at this point. My eating habits have taken a back slide and my strength training has stalled. I now have 9 pounds to lose. These are my corrections and new goals for my body:

Body Goals
I will strength train at least 3 times a week.
I will include pilates/yoga in my cardio.
I will walk every day.
I will eat healthy foods.
I will track my eating and exercise in sparkpeople.
I will reduce the amount of Dr. Pepper I drink.


SOUL: My soul is the essence of who I am. I am very proud of the person I am becoming and allowing myself to free part of who I was that had been stuffed into the dark corners of myself. While I have no corrections to make, I do have additions:

Soul Goals
I will pamper myself every 2 weeks with a professional manicure.
I will continue to create myself through new experiences.
I will dance with abandonment and paint with my inner flair.
I will respect myself and set the example of how I want to be treated by others.
I will share my life and experience with others.
I will make the difficult decisions in life with confidence and determination.

Abandon, Balance & Stealth

"In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth." -Patti Smith

I found this quote interesting and confusing. Abandonment is a complete surrender to our natural impulses without restraint or moderation. In art and dream we leave reality behind and allow our minds the freedom to expand our horizons and dabble in the unknown. In life, I find that I restrain myself and control my impulses in order to be balanced in all areas. As an obsessive compulsive type personality, it is very easy for me to dive head long into something and become completely unbalanced as I pursue my single tracked mind. In my painting and dancing I am able to give in to those impulses and allow myself to surrender to the moment without restraint. My dreams take me in directions my conscious mind would not allow. Art and dream add dimensions to our lives we would otherwise suppress.

If we lived our life with complete abandon, it would be chaotic at best. Life requires that we maintain balance in every area of our life in order to fully enjoy it and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Living life with stealth, though, is an interesting concept. When I first thought on the word stealth, pictures of stealth planes popped into my mind. The ability to prevent detection is their greatest asset. We as humans, on the other hand, want to be on the radar and involved with others during our life’s journey. Other connotations of stealth would include being secretive, covert, or hiding something. I hope we don’t live our lives in this way, hiding who we are, out thoughts and beliefs. Such a double life produces stress and anxiety which would greatly imbalance our lives.

That left me with a third characteristic of stealth…the act of stealing. How could we apply stealing to a balanced life? I pondered on it for a while and it suddenly occurred to me…we have to steal time to live a balanced life. Numerous outside sources continually rob us of our time leaving us unbalanced as we devote more and more time to work and other activities. Women especially find themselves short on “me” time and opportunities to stop and smell the flowers instead of rushing headlong to another appointment or commitment. It is imperative that we steal time from unimportant areas and apply it to living a healthy life that incorporates care of our mind, body and soul.

Allow yourself times of abandonment, letting your spirit soar free expressing yourself through art, dance and dreams. The importance of this cannot be overstated. A balanced life includes these times of indulgence to our natural impulses. The other aspect of a balanced life involves restraint and maintaining focus on our goals and our journey, stealing time for the important things in life…our family and ourselves.

A cute side note…Abandon, Balance and Stealth = ABS

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Thursday's Affirmations:

~I feel beautiful
~I take care of myself mind, body & soul
~I respect myself and set the standard by which others should treat me.

Monday's Meanderings

Take a walk inside your mind.
You'll be surprised at what you'll find.
Dreams unspoken and deepest desires
patiently await you to light their fires.

Unfettered hearts fly free and high
floating up and through the sky.
Limitless are the possibilities
If you forget the probabilities.

Dreams in the night arise in the day
Sunshine warms us with its rays.
Our hearts desire is our goal
accomplishing it soothes our soul.

Take a walk inside your mind.
It will be your greatest find.
Meander often with open heart.
In life we all play a part.

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Each new day offers opportunities to re-evaluate and make adjustments in our life's journey. Looking forward, we always move ahead one step at a time. Leave yesterday behind. Today is a new day.

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Today's Affirmations:

~I will eat healthy
~I will maintain an exercise program that works for me
~I appreciate the positive people and situations that are currently in my life
~I fill my mind with positive and self-nourishing thoughts

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I attended an outdoor wedding this weekend that was truly beautiful. It was held in my father-in-laws backyard which is an incredible tribute to nature. Fall leves gently fell making a memorable backdrop to the ceremony. The vows were traditional with a unique flair to them. They touched me deeply and I hope they touched my husband as well. It is no secret that he and I have had problems during our marriage. I want so much for us to draw close and live the life our wedding vows spoke of and promised. I don't know how to achieve this goal as my husband will not really discuss it. I shed a couple of tears during the ceremony as I longed for the sentiments expressed to be in my marriage.

I was able to spend some time with my daughters boyfriend and was very encouraged. He appears to be mature and responsible. I want the best for my daughter and wish her all her dreams in life.

I'm feeling very sentimental what with the wedding and my daughter bringing her boyfriend. Even my son has a girlfriend!! My babies are growing up and I am not ready for it yet. I know I have to let go the apron strings, but they have been mine for so long. I hope they understand how much I love them.

Children grow older
and we parents grow a little colder
until we realize the warmth
our children return as they mature
bringing new blood into the family
with spouses and children of their own.
We don't lose them,
we gain new children and grand children.
Children grow older
and we parents smile.

Adventures in California

My trip to California was lovely. The journey there was uneventful and I was able to leave earlier than expected. Thursday afternoon was spent with my husband, kicking back and enjoying being together. We ate awesome Chinese food and went to bed early. Friday was going to be a very full day!

Friday was spent at the Aquarium in Long Beach. It was the most amazing place. I saw my first Sea Dragons, which are incredibly cool, and we ran around to each of the embossing machines to stamp our aquarium booklet. The seal/sea lion show was enjoyable as was the shark feeding. I had never heard of Lorikeet’s, but they had an enclosed area full of them. I’ve always loved birds and there was one Lorikeet named Penny that gave me kisses. Of course, she also had a mean streak and bit the crap out of my arm. LOL Don’t you just love birds?? The highlight of the day though was the petting pools. I touched and petted Bamboo Sharks and StingRays! (Pictures above) It was the coolest thing! Some of the StingRays were gravely on top while others were smooth all over. The sharks were smooth as well. The Bamboo Sharks lay the neatest eggs. They are in a hard case (like bamboo). In an exhibit they had pulled off part of the hard encasing and you could see the embryo in its translucent bag. We could see it moving around. We also saw the eggs that had been laid in the petting pool. We were told they would be gathered and brought in for their hatching. I bought a thimble (It has a Sea Dragon on it) like always for a memory keepsake.

Saturday we got physical! That is, we went Kayaking! We kayaked all over Naples. It is a lot of hard work and I was exhausted after we were out for 2 hours. My arms were not very happy with me. Hehe The coolest experience of the day was playing with the Moon Jellyfish (Picture above) in the bay. There is an area where there are hundreds of Moon Jellies that you can touch. They aren’t poisonous to humans. I held them in my hands and touched dozens of them. They are slimy and gooey. There is a pretty flower pattern on them that almost glows purple. We came back to the house that afternoon and enjoyed steak my husband grilled for us. We rested and watched TV until it was time for him to take me to the airport. I flew out on the midnight (12:55) flight. The upside to that was I got bumped up to first class. That is the way to travel!!

I arrived back home in Texas about 5:00 pm Sunday. It was a quick trip, but well worth it! I was able to check mark off a couple of things on my “Things I want to Do List.” The whole experience made me think of more things I would like to experience I need to add to that very list. Swimming with the Dolphins to mention one...

Marvelous Monday

Quote from Helen Keller:
"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain."

I have seen 3 versions of the movie about Helen Keller's life and have read various articles and parts of books about her. She was one of the most incredible women of history. Helen Keller was in inspiration to us all. Considered blind, mute and dumb, she overcame obstacles we can't comprehend to become a profound speaker and role model.

Her quote above has great meaning to me. Even at our most unhappy moment we can have an effect on someone else. We can help to sweeten their pain or ease them from it if only for a moment. Yet, that moment has great worth to that individual. By sharing our experiences, others can learn from them or compare them to their own. Sometimes, just realizing that we are not alone in what we struggle through every day helps. Our life is never in vain if we have touched another for the better. If not for us, that person would continue on without that simple benefit we provided.

Who of us can not search and find someone in worse shape than us, with a worse home life than we have, or suffering from greater tragedy than we ourselves? Even at our worst, there are others worse off. Reach out and touch their lives in some way.

The great thing is that when we do this, even when we are most unhappy, the benefit touches not only the other person, but rebounds and touches our own lives for the better. Doing good brings good things and feelings.
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Today's Affirmations:
~Be my best
~I eat nutritiously
~My body and mind feel good
~I have much to look forward to this week
~I will be happy
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I had a quite weekend, never leaving the house except to run to the little market to get a Dr. Pepper and bag of tortilla chips. I was able to accomplish many things I wanted. I created my own drum beat for class: DD TTTK TTTK DD -- I like to call it Kellzoom

I practiced my dance routine for Liz's class. I have a few questions for her about a couple of places in the song. I am trying to write my notes on the choreograph sheet to help me while practicing. I may miss this week's class to fly to CA since flight benefits have been restored.

I painted 2 pictures with acrylic paint, both florals. I enjoy the process greatly and am learning along with just having fun. I have much to learn though and hope I can take an art class one day. I think I have a new thing to do to add to my list. I will try and take a picture of them to post.

I was able to get much accomplished for my 2 spark teams. Finding enough time to do everything is becoming a problem. It is important to me to share with others what I am learning. I hope they will continue to share with me and the teams as well. That is what life is about...sharing.
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I'm going to write a novel in November. Check out www.nanowrimo.org
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Sunday Scribblings

My parakeet was speaking with a bird outside the window. They were chirping back and forth. I wonder if they understood each other. It brought a smile to my face. I've decided that today should be a day to be creative. I want to pull what is inside of me out and express it through paint. I plan on journaling and writing poetry. I hope to come up with some new ideas for the 2 teams I am leader/co-leader of so that others might be motivated in some way.

Satisfaction
Up-lifting
New Ideas
Dynamic
Affirmations
Yearly Goals
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Today's Affirmations:

I will be creative.
I will express myself and enjoy the experience.
I will dance today and work on my routine.
I will be happy!
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Steps to happiness

You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing, just like everyone else's

So:
You have to find out who you are and be that.
You have to decide what comes first and do that.
You have to discover your strengths and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others.
Because no one else is in the contest of being *you*.

Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare to believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.
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Today is a day to be creative. Paint, Draw, Write Poetry or a Novel, Develop ideas that you can share with others...

Today is also a day to be active. Ride a bike, take a walk, strength train, cardio, dance...

Authenticity

I am having a new journaling series sent to me from writingbliss.com called Write Memories: Relive and Create Your Life Memories and Perspectives through Journaling.

It is about living your life authentically. Is there synergy between your inner world (feelings, values, beliefs, needs, passions) and the outer world (relationships, job, home)? There should be congruence between these two worlds. It is about closing the gap between who you are, what you do, and what you want others to get about you. When you speak from the heart and walk the talk others will get the real you.

Authenticity and personal power go hand in hand. Living authentically requires honesty and a willingness to accept what you know to be true for yourself in every situation. It means not succumbing to the pressures to do what society views "right" or "acceptable." It involves self-trust and a deep conviction.

Here are the guides for authentic journaling:

~Make a list of words that describe your Authentic Self. Are the words in your list the words that others think of you or know of you?

~How do you practice authenticity in your life? For instance, you practice authentic living when you speak up for something you're passionate about at the risk of not being liked by some. Grow a list of personal ways to be authentic.

~What creative gifts do you possess? Do other people know about it or have you been hiding this from them? Do you only manifest these gifts to a select few, perhaps to one person with whom you are most comfortable?

My Authentic Self can be described with these words:

*Empathetic
*Trustworthy
*Caring
*Inquisitive
*Anal Retentive
*Reliable
*Diplomatic
*Detailed
*Obsessive Compulsive
*Intelligent
*Poet
*Creative
*Spirit of a Dancer

I think people identify many of these words with who I am. There may be some they don't know suit me because I have not allowed them to see that side of me. In fact, I never applied the term creative to myself until recently. Because I can't draw and I am such a detailed, organized person, I didn't consider myself creative. It was brought to my attention from someone recently that they considered me very creative. I was shocked and had to really think on it. I am creative in many ways. I write poetry, I dance, I drum, I take my journal and turn it into an expression of who I am with both words and colors, I develope interesting ways to share with others motivating thoughts that will help them in their own journeys and I can decorate my home with colors and items that express myself and the feelings I want my house to express when others come in it. I am creative!

Perhaps other people would add different words to my list. I would love to know what they are so I can meditate on them and learn something about myself I haven't seen that others have. There may be words others would remove from list as they don't agree with my selection. That is okay. They just don't see that side of me and I know it is there.
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Today's Affirmations:

*Be happy
*Be active
*Be motivated
*Be calm
*Be inquisitive
*Be me!
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Thankful Thursday

I am thankful
~ for the lovely weather.
~ my children are healthy.
~ my husband loves me.
~ for the opportunity to write a novel.
~ an understanding boss.
~ for good friends.
~ for the health I have.
~ music and dance.
~ the positive feelings coming my way.

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Today's Affirmations:
*I am a wonderful and worthy person.
*I appreciate the positive people in my life.
*I practice the relaxation methods that I enjoy.
*My mood is calm and relaxed.
*I control how I feel.
*I think thoughts that uplift and nurture me.

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Weak is a 4 letter word. Strength is a strong word. Which one are you?
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Thursday's are always an exciting day for me as I have drum and dance class. I am determined to excel and to learn the moves with grace. In other news, my husband has an interview with another airline that he has long desired as an employer. He hopes to be hired, which will mean relocating. I have mixed emotions regarding it. It would be awesome for him to work for this airline. The thoughts of trying to sell our house and move away from my family here are saddening. In the end, my husband will decide what is best for the family. I'm sure he will make the right decisions. It's been a busy day and I have several things to finish before leaving for drum class. I wish you all a wonderful evening. Keep reaching for your goals and living your dreams!

Inner Journey Dip~Module 5

What sound is most comforting to you?

We have ears to hear sounds for many reasons…to enjoy stimulating conversations or to hear our children’s cries for help or sounds of joy. In these times of daunting stress, we need comforting sounds to engulf us and free us from the clashing sounds of daily life around us that grate on our nerves and push us farther away from our inner calm we greatly desire.

There are many comforting sounds like the ocean waves crashing onto the shore, the coo of a dove or the happy giggles of children. What comforts me most is nature, so I must say that various sounds of nature are most comforting. Of those sounds, it is almost impossible to choose one. When I hear doves coo it drops my heart rate and brings a smile to my face. The waves lull me as they roll onto the beach again and again. The repetitiveness of it maintains a calming effect. Hearing the wind blow through the trees and then feeling the breeze upon my face brings satisfaction that all is right with the world, even if it isn’t.

There are those unable to hear sounds of any type. While they may be protected from the horrible sounds we are bombarded with daily, those without hearing miss out on the beauty of nature sounds. Or do they? They are able to “hear” sounds that come from vibrations. Deaf people are able to dance to the vibrations of music if the speakers are turned up and directed to the floor. I hope they can feel the vibrations of nature. Perhaps someone hearing impaired will share their version of comforting “sounds,” so that we can gain some knowledge of their world. Through knowledge we all grow.

What is your most comforting sound?